


What's that for?

by PossiblyHuman



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, This is, i dont know what this is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:24:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PossiblyHuman/pseuds/PossiblyHuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itchy and a few other of the Felt are drunk. He has some weird perceptions of what's going on within the Felt. Crowbar wants to go to bed. No one else does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This stemmed from a bizarre late night conversation.

"Sooooo, Crowbarrr..." Itchy slurred. He was a questionable amount drinks in, amount of liquor unknown. It had to be a significant amount to keep him drunk, with his fast metabolism. He wasn't the most wasted member there. Fin was on the couch, way more drunk than Itchy.

Even so, Itchy definitely wasn't the most sober. That prize went to the maroon hatted man he was talking to. Crowbar had only one or two drinks.

"Why do you even...have that bell?"

"What bell?" Crowbar replied. He wasn't used to Itchy asking him anything that didn't have an annoying second meaning or relevance. Trace was next to Fin, in between the two taking, and ended up speaking first, getting the idea quicker than Crowbar.

"You know, the one you use for Cans."

Crowbar's hand reached into an inside pocket in his jacket, pulling out the little red and white striped bell. He was careful not to ring it, he didn't think Cans would be too happy being summoned for no reason."This one? Obviously to be able to call our heaviest hitter the quickest."

"Yeah, yeah. But why're you the only one who gets one?" Trace continued.

"Yesss. Can' tell you how many times I could've used that." Fin joined the conversation, sitting up on the couch next to Trace, a spot he had recently been slouched and comfortably draped over.

"I'm the most trustworthy to carry the bell." Crowbar replied. He didn't want to imagine the chaos there would be if all the Felt could summon Cans. They'd be calling him instead of doing their own damn jobs. "If you need Cans' help, you find him, or find me."

"Why don't you give us one of the extra bells?" Trace asked. Crowbar shook his head.

"He only gave _one_ to me."

Itchy cut back into the conversation at that moment, quite literally, as he dashed, wobbling a little, in between 3, 4, and 7, grin wide on his face. "So Cans gave it to you-hic- personally? I thought maaaybe the Doc gave it to you or something."

"No, the Doc has more important matters. The ability to operate this bunch of morons of a gang is all up yours truly. You know that."

"So Cans just happened to give you a bell that you could use to call him at any time?" Trace asked, a smile on his face as he understood what Itchy was getting at.

"It's a boooooty call bell!" Itchy cackled. Crowbar rolled his eyes.

"Yes, that's exactly what it is, Itchy. Because that's obviously way more friggin' important than being able to call in the big muscle any time things get too hot to handle."

"I bet that's what it issss. You're just too dumb to get it." Crowbar bristled at that.

"I'm not wrong. What kind of hairbrained romantic scheme would involve a bell? What do you think this is, _horseshoes_?"

Trace cut in again. "We never said anything about charms, calm down, Crowbar. Back off, Itchy."

"Noo way. Why's he getting so defensive? Because its truuuue! You two are both maroon!"

Crowbar's hand curled around his crowbar, he could take a swing at Itchy. There was little to no chance it would hit him, however. There's also the point that if he were to get aggressive, Itchy would just be more convinced of his delusion. It was a delusion at this point, because colors counted for nothing. It's not like Quarters and Die were best friends or Itchy and Stitch. He took a deep breath and instead attempted to divert the topic. "Itchy, how's dancing around with Clover?"

Itchy paused, then gave a drunken thumbs up. "Greaaat. He and I were just dancing last-" Itchy went off about his romance, and Crowbar relaxed. There was no way the yellow hatted speedster would come back around to their original conversation now that he was given the opportunity to brag about his charm life. Trace looked over at him, unamused at this change of conversation as details nobody wanted spilled out of Itchy's mouth.

No one said anything for a long time, just sat there and tried not to listen or be bothered by Itchy's words.

"Shu' up!" Fin eventually yelled.

"You're just jealous." Itchy prodded Fin's shoulder.

"No, 'm not. I jus don' care."

Crowbar took the start of what looked like a fight to stand up, starting his swift but stealthy retreat back to his room and some peace and quiet. He barely got to the door before he felt a zoom go by and his jacket fluttering in the wake. "Itchy! Give that back."

"Never!" Itchy had the bell right in front of Crowbar, who lunged for it. Itchy dodged, moving around so fast, he made the bell ring. It was back in Crowbar's hand the second it did so. Cans, predictably, burst through the wall.

What a mess. Usually this is where Crowbar would just snap out an order. But he didn't have an order. Cans brushed off some of the rubble on him as he waited expectantly to clock someone out, or do some sort of heavy lifting task.

Itchy was snickering.

Crowbar sighed, figuring he'd better be honest with the big guy so he could go back to whatever mind numbingly dumb task he did in his free time. "Look, sorry. I didn't ring the bell, Itchy took it and rang it. Seems he's got some half baked idea in his head...and well...the gist is I don't actually need you for anything, so you can just mosey off."

"Or, I mean, you could join us and get waaaasted," Itchy called, from all the way back at the couch.

"No offense, bu' I'm not sure I wanna see that." Trace nodded in agreement at Fin's words. Cans blinked.

"Huh?"

Itchy raced up next to him, pulling at his arm over towards the couch.

"C'mon, join us. We can talk about things." Itchy wiggled his eyebrows at Crowbar. Cans followed Itchy over slowly.

"Itchy, I swear to christ..." Crowbar warned.

"So, Cans. Any particular reason you only gave Crowbar the summoning bell?"

Cans looked confused by the question."Did you want a bell?"

"Don't give them a bell." Crowbar snapped. "They'll just summon you for some stupid shit."

Cans shrugged and took a seat on the ground. Itchy all but flopped next to Trace on the couch. Crowbar looked towards the door. His freedom. But if he left, Itchy may put some down-right idiotic thoughts into Cans' head. And he wouldn't be there to shoot them down. He grumbled as he rejoined the group, sitting in a chair near the rest.

"Soooo, you know what we should play? Truth or Dare." Itchy said. He was beginning to look more sober. Crowbar hoped he wasn't getting more sober, but with that metabolism and the fact that he hadn't consumed any alchohol in a while now, that was very likely.

Fin downright sniggered. "You fuckin' serious?"

"Damn right I am."

"What are y', 12?"

"No, I'm one." Itchy pointed to his hat, laughing and looking damn proud of the joke. No one else laughed. But he was definitely sobering up. Fin was doing the opposite, taking another swig and leaning heavily on Trace.

"Should we ask anyone else to join?" Trace asked.

"No." Crowbar protested. Eugh. It would be bad enough with this many of them. He hoped they could stave off Itchy long enough to make him bored. They all of course were going to play, Itchy would be a pain in the neck about it if they didn't. He slumped in his chair, crossing his arms. Maybe if he started the whole mess, it would be over quicker. "Itchy, truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously." Itchy said without hesitation, any thoughts of bringing in others lost immediately. Crowbar tapped his elbow. "I dare you to leave the game and go to bed."

"Boooooo." Itchy said. "Disqualified. My turn."

He made a big show of it, but Crowbar knew exactly who he was going to pick. "Hmmm. Cans! Truth or dare?"

The lunk started, lulled into a false sense of security until now. "Uh. Truth."

"Do you have a cruuuush?" Itchy asked, staring at Crowbar, who gave him an exasperated look back.

"Itchy c'mon this is stu'id." Fin rolled his eyes.

Cans shook his head slowly. "I don't think so." Itchy was frowning now.

Crowbar threw his hands in the air. "Good. Game over, information recieved. Now, let's hit the hay, eh?"

"Isn't it my turn, though?" Cans responded. Crowbar looked at him incredulously. Itchy looked at him with glee.

"You still want to play?"

Cans shrugged, rather sheepishly. He wasn't involved with many Felt events now that Crowbar thought about it. The guy kind of kept to himself, he spoke to Crowbar sometimes, he saw him everyonce and a while with various other members, but never more than one. He didn't even come play tablestickball. Was the guy...shy? He didn't think so, he was pretty damn aggressive without hesitation and didn't seem to need to be reassured of anything. Maybe he just didn't have- Then again, Crowbar didn't want to know anyway.

"Trace. Truth or dare?" Cans asked.

"Dare."

Crowbar slumped even further. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is from a while ago, not sure what was going to happen from here, but I did my best to end it from what I remembered about the story

Trace went into the past and changed something that 'no one will notice', Itchy had to cut a hole in one of Stitches suits, Fin recounted all of his dances in detail(disgusting). Crowbar ate a bite of something Eggs and Biscuits left in the fridge, gagging. All in all, a pretty normal Truth or Dare game.

About a few rounds into the game, Itchy was starting to get bored. Crowbar was watching him like a hawk, so he was relieved he could tell. There were two routes this could go: Itchy could call it off completely, or he'd call another game. Fin was passed out though, and it looked like Trace was seriously considering just leaving. That left just three players.

Well, four. Clover came out of no where after Trace did his dare, which involved quite a few glasses being broken. Crowbar hoped Clover wasn't considering actually joining, and he was relieved when the little guy just giggled and said he wanted to watch them play. That might change if the players dwindled.

"Well, it's getting late." Remarked number three.

Trace stood, jabbing Fin until he reached a state of semi-consciousness. The shark toothed leprechaun grunted, and with some aid, was pulled to his feet, putting most of his weight on Trace.

"We're gonna go to bed. See all of you later."

Itchy made a face, Clover waved cheerfully, and Crowbar and Cans just nodded. There was silence for a moment. Crowbar realized his mistake in not following them out and scrambled to his feet, much to the amusement of Clover and Itchy, who giggled and cackled at the ungracefullness of it. He shot them both a glare, and to his credit, Clover stopped. Itchy didn't, but he wouldn't have anyway.

"I'm just going to do the same, you know, leave the two love birds to their dancing." Crowbar looked pointedly at Clover and Itchy.

Ick. He couldn't believe they settled on horseshoes. He thought it would have never worked out but there it was. Who would'a thought?

"Wait, wait." Itchy cackled out. "Before you go, one last one. Cans AND Crowbar, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Dare."

"You have to agree."

Crowbar shot a furious look to Cans, who obviously had answered Dare. What was he, a moron? Never let Itchy give a dare. Ever. Especially with all of the matchmaking he was doing earlier. Cans gave him a confused look back.

"I haven't done a dare yet." He said, shrugging at Crowbar.

"That's settled, dare it is!" Itchy jumped on that reply like a bee to spilled cola.

"No!" Crowbar protested. Itchy ignored him.

"I dare you...to go to the Crew's base, and write your names on the door."

"...Fuck no." Crowbar replied. "First of all, its more of a hole than a base. Second, its two in the fucking morning."

Itchy sighed, the over the top movement of his shoulders and frown, making a big deal out of what was coming. He waved his hand dismissively. "Fine fine, you two just, I don't know, kiss or something."

Oh what a little shit. Crowbar felt like strangling Itchy, than strangling himself for not seeing this coming. But maybe...He stood up sharply, then stormed towards the door. He turned back, beckoning to the large, mostly confused man.

"Cans, time to pay the Crew a visit."

"What?" Itchy all but shrieked. Clover giggled harder than he had been. Cans got up immediately, following Crowbar out the door. Itchy scrambled after them.

"Crowbar wait, that's suicidal. Just do the kiss dare, you don't have to prove nothing to us, we know you don't like the guy that way." He said earnestly. Crowbar narrowed his eyes at him.

"No. You wanted this." He walked with a purpose towards the front door. "And plus, what do you care? I thought you'd be all over me risking my life for something absolutely inconceivably idiotic."

"Well, yeah." Itchy replied without missing a beat, giving the biggest grin. "That's why I gave you the dare."

"We'll see you in a few hours, then." Crowbar said pointedly, hopping into the car. Cans could barely fit into the back seat, but he squeezed himself in anyway. He started the car up, and Itchy sprung towards them, hands over the keys.

"Whoa, hold on there. How do I know you've actually done the dare?"

Crowbar turned back towards Cans. "Remind me to pick up a camera or something." He turned back to the front, Itchy giving him a look of absolute surprise. He felt smug at the reaction, but hell if he was going to show Itchy how he felt. Without a word he pulled out of the manor, seeing Itchy zoom back inside, probably to go tell anyone around what was going on. Crowbar wouldn't want to be him when they all realized what time it was.

They drove in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Cans spoke up. He spoke slowly, sounding a little concerned.

"We're not really going t-"

"Hell no." Crowbar replied. Cans sighed in relief as Crowbar continued. "Any ideas on what we're going to do for the next few hours before Itchy forgets what he asked us to do?"

"No, I don't think anything'll be open."

They pulled into the city limits, gray and black accented by just a few street lights.

"Wingin' it, it is."

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this may be the dumbest thing I've ever written but the characterization is pretty ok so what the hey. There's like another half a chapter somewhere if -any of you want me to continue.


End file.
